Description

We Want to Help You Mentor Couples

Connected Marriage was started by marriage mentors. We used to be in your shoes. We wanted to help couples, but we weren’t even sure how.

Honestly, we weren’t even sure we could help. But, we’ve now impacted hundreds of couples and we want to share our experience with you.

Over ten years and after thousands of hours of research, we developed this material. But, we also wanted it to be Biblically based and psychologically sound. We recruited a team of pastors and mental health professionals to give their input. Their experience is also contained in this material.

This is the tool that we wished we had all along.

It’s Effective.

Connected Marriage works. It is based on key concepts that couples find helpful. Whether couples are having major problems or just need a tune up, they have found it to be practical and useful.

As a result of going through the Connected Marriage course and meeting with a mentor:

78% of distressed couples improve their marriage satisfaction
87% see healthy changes in their thoughts, feelings and behaviors
96% are more committed to changing themselves in order to have a healthier marriage

I highly recommend this tool to counselors, professors, pastors and lay counselors.

Ava Oleson, M.S. MFT, D.Min., The Assemblies of God Theological Seminary

The program is so comprehensive in how it’s built and laid out that it really does change your marriage. We are transformed.

Steve, Mentee

From an academic, clinical and pastoral perspective, the marriage mentoring materials are superb.

Kevin Hoffman, D.Min.,Pastor, Dayton Vineyard Church

Would You Make a Good Marriage Mentor?

Marriage Mentor Qualifications

We’ve trained a number of lay people to be effective working with couples who are struggling. Here’s what we look for:

Growing in faith and able to pray with and for others
Committed to your marriage
Working to improve your marriage

A marriage mentor is in a leadership position inside of the church. Are you committed to Christ? Are you growing in faith? Are you able to pray for others?

We look for mentors that are committed to their marriage and working to improve. This may seem like a low bar. We have found that some of the best mentors are couples that were struggling in their marriage and are now working on healing. If you have struggled in your marriage, your experience can help others. Helping another couple actually helps you to heal. Your wisdom and story of how you got through a tough time can provide hope for others.

Marriage Mentor Values

Know Your strength.

Your strength is from God, not your own experience or your own knowledge. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to empathize and to pray.

Get real. Get healed.

We are able to heal when we are able to be honest with God, ourselves and with others. We prefer marriage mentors that can be transparent. You set the tone for how transparent your mentees will be. Being honest sets an example and creates a safe environment for vulnerability.

Your pain, their gain.

In I Corinthians 1:4 it says, “…the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Your biggest challenges in your marriage can become your biggest opportunities in helping others to heal. This is why we love to have mentors that have struggled through issues like affairs, addictions, disconnection and poor communication – basically, any issue that another couple can relate to.

Thou shalt not fix.

Beginning mentors are great at giving advice and fixing. But, it’s often not very effective. One of the biggest challenges in becoming a mentor is not immediately rushing to advice. It’s much better to get a couple to find their own answers. Get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.

Be better at asking questions than giving answers.

Stay curious. Your couple will own the solution much more if they come up with it themselves. The role of mentor is more about asking questions to raise awareness.

We are not cookie cutters.

What works for me may not work for you. Every couple needs to figure out what works for them. You can explain how you do it, but be open to allowing their solution to be different than what you would choose.

I am me and you are you.

You don’t own the couple’s emotions or their problems. You can’t fix them. You’re not responsible for their success or for their failure. You can pray, be curious and encourage them. You can help apply the key concepts and best practices, but they own the work.

It’s Easy. It’s Engaging.

How Does it Work?

Marriage Mentor assigns a lesson
Couple completes the online interactive lesson
A custom report is generated based your couple’s responses
Download report and meet with your couple
Follow the suggested questions
Repeat for all 6 sessions

What About Mentor Training?

Connected Marriage provides step-by-step training to help you mentor. Remember, this is marriage education. Your role isn’t to fix a couple’s problems, it’s to educate and to help the couple apply the key concepts explained in the online learning.

You simply assign an online lesson to complete before the next meeting. After the couple completes the lesson, the you receive a customized report to use as a guide during the next meeting.

You receive:

Access to the 6 hours of mentee training based on over 25 key concepts
6 couple reports, 1 for each meeting, filled with customized insight for the couple
Suggested questions to ask for each meeting
Mentor guides for working either with a group or an individual couple
Over 3 hours of interactive online training on how to mentor
Insight from mental health professionals

You also receive complete access to Connected Forever

Each of your couples will need to purchase Connected Forever, the online course that you will leverage.

This includes:

Online Access to All Six Interactive Courses

Each course contains a combination of video, audio and interactive questions that will help you to apply the proven concepts. Your couples complete the online learning and then meet with you to apply the lessons. You will find the material to be engaging, practical and informative. Altogether, you will find almost 6 hours of lessons.

Couple Insight Reports

As your couples go through the material they will be asked to complete surveys and assessments that will give you insights into their relationship. You will provide them a report that will help them to apply the key concepts. You will receive over 70 pages of insight into their relationship.

Exercises

Each of the 6 courses has exercises that will help the couple to apply the key concepts. The exercises will help your couple to connect with each other and to build their marriage connection.

Devotions

Meditating on the Bible can help you to learn from God what will help your relationship. These devotions are meant to bring you, and your couples, closer to God and to each other.

What Your Couples Will Learn

Connected Forever includes over 25 key concepts that have been shown to be effective in improving marriage satisfaction, even for couples that are struggling. Each course builds on the last one and helps you to address specific areas to strengthen your relationship.

Building Your Bond

How do you build a marriage that is forever, especially if you don’t feel like working on it? You CAN get over your negative feelings and build a connected relationship.

Learning to Validate

Having a connected relationship means that you understand each other. It sounds easy, but it can be a challenge. If you want a close relationship. learn to validate.

Impact of Family

We have been influenced by our backgrounds and our families. Communicating with each other means understanding the influences of our past.

Managing Conflict

Conflict in a relationship is inevitable. You can choose to have it tear you down or build you up. This lesson will help you to recognize patterns that may be tearing you down.

Forgiveness & Trust

A lack of forgiveness can poison our relationships. Yet, many people have misconceptions that prevent them from forgiving. This lesson lays out how to forgive and how to rebuild trust.

Building Intimacy

Physical intimacy builds feelings of closeness and connection. There are common problems that couples experience. This lesson talks about how to build your physical bond.

Mentoring Step by Step – For Mentors