Are Lay Counselors Effective?
Lay Counselors Are as Effective as Professional Counselors!
Sometimes I get discouraged. I get out of a meeting with a couple and I wonder if we did any good at all.
I really do want to help other couples. I’m a compassionate guy and I want people to have a healthy marriage relationship. Am I being effective? Am I doing any good?
I’m not the only one that wonders this. I regularly meet with other couples that want to help by being mentors. They want to give back and build into another couple’s lives. They are usually very caring people that are wondering how they can minister to others.
I think that they have that basic question, “Can I be effective as a lay counselor?”
We Are All Called to Help
“… you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct one another.” Romans 15:14
God calls us to help each other. I could quote lots of Bible passages about this. The body of Christ is all about helping each other to grow in Christ and to bear one another’s burdens.
Don’t we have professionals to do this? I used to hear to hear this when I was growing up. The attitude was that we hired the pastor to do the ministry. After all, they went to seminary. In Ephesians 1 it lays out the role of the pastors is to equip people for works of service.
Our works of service include ministering to others. This includes ministering to couples that are struggling with their marriage.
Lay Counselors Are as Effective as Professionals
OK, so the Bible teaches that we are all called to bear one another’s burdens. Does that mean that lay people can be effective?
The short answer: YES!
In the book “Lay Counseling” the authors write:
“The majority of outcome studies comparing the effectiveness of professional therapists to lay counselors have found that lay counselors are generally as effective as professional therapists for most common problems by clients, according to recent reviews and reports or studies.”
Did you catch that? Lay counselors are as effective as professionals.
For some reason, that gives me a bit more confidence. So, have confidence!
But, don’t get cocky! I still believe in mental health professionals and I regularly refer people.
Be the Best You Can Be
I’ve now worked with enough struggling couples to know that we do have an positive impact. Couples tell us that we’ve given them tools that have saved their marriage. So, I know it works. I have that confidence.
When it comes to caring for people, I want to be as effective as possible.
Think of the ideal counselor. They have their own act together, they’re very spiritually mature, they know the Bible forward and backward and they are trained on counseling techniques.
Guess what? None of us starts there. We grow into it.
In my church, we have small groups of struggling couples, each led by a mentor couple. My wife and I train new mentor couples. We get together with the mentors on a regular basis to talk about how to handle difficult situations.
My observation is that mentor couples grow in their effectiveness. They start out a little unsure and gradually improve. The more experienced mentor couples are great sources for ideas on how to handle different situations.
I’m a big believer in continuing to learn, to read and to gain experience on how to minister to couples.
Tips for Marriage Mentors:
- You Are Called to Help Others – All Christians are called to help others. I believe that there are those who are specifically called to work in a marriage ministry. That may be you!
- Lay Counselors are Effective – Be confident. Lay counselors can be as effective as mental health professionals.
- Grow in Effectiveness – Commit yourself to helping others the best way that you can. Continue to learn and grow.
Reference:
Tan, S., & Scalise, E. (2016). Lay counseling: equipping Christians for a helping ministry. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. Page 70.
My wife and I have struggled with this question in the past. In short, pro counselors get trained, so do we, they gain the expertise, so do we, they have all the advantages, no way. They get paid, we do not which is correct. My wife and have experienced the occasional couple that just does not click with us we quickly move them to someone they might relate to better. We have had couples who make some progress but fall back into old habits. We have wanted to quit. But doing this ministry isn’t about the wins and losses. It’s about wanting to make a difference, alternatives for couples, compassion for those who hurt. It’s about people just like in biblical times. I have learned many things ministering to couples, and I have made mistakes. The most important thing I know about this is whether you are a paid pro or a lay minister, you can lead a person, (couple) to Christ, but they have to decide he’s worth going after, and so it is with counseling. I can give all the same tools and techniques a a pro counselor, but if the choose not use them then I am not responsible for that decision. People are funny creatures that way. But I try now not to take it personally. I guess I’ve gotten thicker skin since we started this several years ago. So to answer the question in my humble opinion is yes as lay people my wife and I are as effective as a professional.
It sounds like you have enough experience to know that you are being effective! That’s great to hear.
I think that new mentors struggle with this. Also, I think that pastors wonder if their lay volunteers can really be effective.
I’m convinced that lay counselors can be effective and the research backs me up on this.
Phil
Good information for marriage counselors like me here. Now I am just asking if you haven’t any curriculum or training manual that is easily downloadable such that after reading and comprehending, then our work becomes easier.
Blessings
The online curriculum streams over the internet. There are surveys and assessments that the couple takes that give you insight into their relationship. Because of this, it isn’t downloadable. There are exercises and devotions that the paid course has in it. Does that help?
As I look to the Bible for this answer I read that Jesus (our example of who we should be like) schooled his disciples into his ministry, teaching them the wisdom of God, and what a great resource they could each be to help others.
God wants each of us to play an active role in ministry no matter who we are.
As we get older in life and gain experience and knowledge God promises to turn every experience into being used for the good.
We are to reach out and help in whatever way the Holy Spirit leads us and use our experience and knowledge we acquire for the good.
At 60 years old I have met some awesome lay people counselors and I have also met some terrible highly educated counselors.
Pray and ask God to show you your ministry, educate yourself, and reach out to others and God will lead others too you.
Very well said!
What’s God calling you to do? The harvest is great and the workers are few!
Both my wife and myself have found that connectedmarriage.org has been one of the Best programs we have ever learned from.
My wife has had more Psychology and Counseling education than myself but we have now learned how together we can be used to help others marriages in a broader range.
I myself being a business man never thought I could be used in this area until I started reading and learning through this program.
We are learning to help others in their marriages as a team now and have found our own bond to be strengthened.
I think it’s cool that you’ve found you can have an impact!
PS – Thanks for the plug! (I swear that Jonathan isn’t related to me).
Phil thanks for the information. My wife and I are involved lay marriage coaching ministry called Marriage Team where lay coaches don’t mentor marriage but coach it. Please Checkout MarriageTeam.org and maybe there can be a swapping of information between you too.
Peter – I always love to talk to others that have a passion for healthy marriage! I’d love to connect.
Wrіtе more, thats all Ӏ have to say. Litеralⅼy, it seems as thoᥙgh You relied on the video to make yoᥙr point.
You obviouѕly know what youre talҝing about, why throᴡ aᴡay your intеlligence оn just posting videos to your
site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?
Thanks for the feedback! I know that different people like different mediums. I try to both post videos and write.